abfabsolutely

Dec 18

Get paid,

youcankeepthechange:

get new sunglasses, look dope in them, get tacos, go see some comedy, constantly make a fool of myself while talking to guys, go home alone, find solace in my leftover tacos, and fall asleep watching Aqua Teen re-runs on my laptop.

What is, “How I will spend my Friday?” Mr. Trebek?

I just ate m&m's and animal crackers for lunch.

Because that’s the adult way to handle stress. Duh.

thedailywhat: Site of the Day: Star Wars Weather Forecast. Enter city, get Star Wars Universe equivalent. I love this so much, I would hug my screen if only it would hug me back. (One-way hugs are awkward.) (Bottom right reads: “You may have to climb inside a tauntaun for warmth.” lol.) [via.]

thedailywhat:

Site of the Day: Star Wars Weather Forecast.

Enter city, get Star Wars Universe equivalent. I love this so much, I would hug my screen if only it would hug me back. (One-way hugs are awkward.)

(Bottom right reads: “You may have to climb inside a tauntaun for warmth.” lol.)

[via.]

Dec 17

Now accepting applications for friends who are not shitty people.

awkwardlyawesome:

For realz.

ohhhhh… my pet.  virtual hugs.  xxoo

[video]

[video]

Readers by Author. [because Loren loves Lauren, haha... BRILLIANT!]

palahniukandchocolate: ibelieveinyesterday:aspicio: ” Mawwage. Mawwage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam. And wove, twue wove, wiww fowwow you fowevah, So tweasuwe youw wove …” ___________________________________________________________ So yes, I’m a bit ambivalent when it comes to marriage.   Let’s be honest, I can barely commit to a house plant, let alone this ‘death do us part’ hoopla. However, I believe all of us have the right to a) marry if/when/whomever we choose and b) be on the receiving end of at least one marriage proposal, you know, irl. (I’m hoping for several, but then I’ve always been ambitious). My ultimate fantasy proposal scenario, obviously inspired by this film and the greatness that is Hubert Humperdinck, is as follows: 1. He* will gaze into my eyes.  For, say, five seconds… tops.  (This is a proposal, after all, not a staring contest.) 2. He will, in some sophisticated and elegant way, produce an engagement ring from his pocket or other hiding place not involving food/beverage/stunt team/live television audience. 3. He will then gallantly drop to one knee… 4. … and say, in a voice candy-coated with emotion, ‘My dear Allison… Please consider me an alternative to suicide?’ In summary, thank you, Prince Humperdinck, for setting the bar for Most Romantic Proposal of All Time (3:12) and teaching a girl how to dream. … *clearly this gent will need to be charming/intelligent/genuine/witty/thoughtful/totally crushing/downright awesome… oh, and good-looking as hell, duh. _____________________________________________________________

palahniukandchocolate: ibelieveinyesterday:aspicio:

” Mawwage. Mawwage is what bwings us togethew today. Mawwage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam within a dweam. And wove, twue wove, wiww fowwow you fowevah, So tweasuwe youw wove …”

___________________________________________________________

So yes, I’m a bit ambivalent when it comes to marriage.   Let’s be honest, I can barely commit to a house plant, let alone this ‘death do us part’ hoopla.

However, I believe all of us have the right to a) marry if/when/whomever we choose and b) be on the receiving end of at least one marriage proposal, you know, irl.

(I’m hoping for several, but then I’ve always been ambitious).

My ultimate fantasy proposal scenario, obviously inspired by this film and the greatness that is Hubert Humperdinck, is as follows:

1. He* will gaze into my eyes.  For, say, five seconds… tops.  (This is a proposal, after all, not a staring contest.)
2. He will, in some sophisticated and elegant way, produce an engagement ring from his pocket or other hiding place not involving food/beverage/stunt team/live television audience.

3. He will then gallantly drop to one knee…

4. … and say, in a voice candy-coated with emotion, ‘My dear Allison… Please consider me an alternative to suicide?’

In summary, thank you, Prince Humperdinck, for setting the bar for Most Romantic Proposal of All Time (3:12) and teaching a girl how to dream.

…

*clearly this gent will need to be charming/intelligent/genuine/witty/thoughtful/totally crushing/downright awesome… oh, and good-looking as hell, duh.

_____________________________________________________________

Dec 16

“Acceptance, forgiveness, tolerance, and bullshit.” — ‘How the hell have we managed to stay friends for so long?’ mystery finally solved

“Ohmygod, it’s steak n shake… It’s like dog years… So, really… That’s basically… a thousand dollars. Or… Forty-two. Whatever, same difference.” — qtis

Dec 14

littlemisssunnysunshine: (via gatekeper) Dear Adrienne Kessler- I believe we would have been friends. RIP, Erin

littlemisssunnysunshine: (via gatekeper)

Dear Adrienne Kessler-

I believe we would have been friends.

RIP,

Erin

I tried to use "The Secret" today to make a lot of money at work.

kissandtell:

abfabsolutely:

jermainia:

But I don’t even know what The Secret is all about. So I repeated “walk, walk, fashion baby” over and over in my head instead. It didn’t work. But I felt fierce.

My Life, Today’s Edition.  love love love.

i’m channeling feeling fierce and future contact.
move aside fuckers. i’m taking the reins.

- mc

“Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.” —

Lemony Snicket (via kari-shma) (via quote-book)

[Read: Reason to Love Your Friends on the West Coast.  3 hour time delay?  Yes, please, love, thanks. ‘YOU AWAKE?’ = 3 am CST text of champions.]

Holiday in Heels 2K9: Sex, Lies, and Videotape. (Or, Sex, Videotape, and Lies, if you want us in photographic order.  Last night… oh my.  ’Walk, walk, fashion baby’ INDEED. In other words, ‘THANKS.’ - S,L, and V)

Holiday in Heels 2K9: Sex, Lies, and Videotape.

(Or, Sex, Videotape, and Lies, if you want us in photographic order.  Last night… oh my.  ’Walk, walk, fashion baby’ INDEED.

In other words, ‘THANKS.’ - S,L, and V)

Tonight's experimental cocktail:

4 parts Hennessey + 1 part creme de menthe.

[much needed, and truly a pleasantly holiday-esque little accompaniment to the world’s most bizarre (slash cringe-inducing) bar conversation.  To borrow David’s phrase, ‘Well… I was planning on volunteering on Christmas day at the veterans’ hospital… but I guess we took care of that score tonight, huh?’

An, ahem, interesting evening of the thisiswhyIdrink.com variety.  Yowza.

What can I tell you?  When one’s heart is heavy (or one receives a bombshell over the telephone), get thee to a bar, my child.  And may all your Christmases be white.]