Today definitely went from zero to HERO. I’m here to say, George Michael is RIGHT. It’s all about faith faith faith. Booyah.
In Egyptian mythology, the god Saa (also spelled...
ohyeahfacts: (The Essential Book of Useless Information) j’adore this tumblr.
It was thick, the fuzz, then rich, then colder and thinner at the bottom. A few...– Mugglenet’s review of the butterbeer (and other culinary treasures) which will be served at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. I. Can’t. Wait. (via thegreg)
Mmmmmm…. Yeahhhh… Could you just take that mcdonald’s bag to...– e, describing our version of ‘dating’
'you freak bitch.' →
kissandtell: everyone and their pet rock is pairing off. everything else in my life is going swimmingly. why don’t i ever allow myself to stop and enjoy the testicular fortitude that is my career? i’ll tell you why.. because even in my ‘i’m a single, fabulous, fuckalicious woman who don’t take no shit from none of you’ mind, society/life/other people/reality tv/boners/whatever tell me ‘shouldn’t...
Somehow I need to combine my extensive Harry Potter knowledge and my shopping prowess into a profitable career. What is ‘Allison, please summarize your life in 18 words or less’?
Hipsters... love 'em/loathe 'em. →
To continue previous post… try Unhappy Hipsters.
Gawker du jour: 'We Need a New Word for Hipster'
‘The reason everyone is sick of this word is because everyone uses it so much. I think a better question to think about is “Why am I using this word so much?” There are certainly a lot of annoying people in the world, “hipsters” do not have a monopoly on douche-hood. You don’t hate hipsters, what you hate are assholes. You don’t hate someone because of...
Obama's next speech according to the people from...
apsies: awkwardlyawesome: bendoeslife: “My fellow Americans, From this day forward, we will not allow you to produce children. Starting tomorrow, we will be breaking into your homes and performing abortions on everyone. And notice that I said everyone. It doesn’t matter if you’re pregnant or not; you are getting an abortion. Not able to have children? Doesn’t matter. 95-years-old? Abortion....
scott friday: tomorrow's to-do list: →
• start out with my part out • rock out with my cock out • hang out with my wang out • roll out with my pole out • chill out with my dill out • wig out with my twig out • mellow out with my fellow out • cool out with my tool out • make out with my snake out • run out with my gun out • fizzle out… omg YES.
one of the managers i work with constantly tells me it’s time to settle down. i’d rather shit a cactus then settle down, get married and pop out babies. last night i had dinner with my pregnant friend, Lori. she was the last person i thought would ever have a kid. she told me she had a breakdown yesterday morning because she’s not ready to have a baby. i almost passed out thinking about the...
Big List of Things to Hate: "Like, You Know?" by... →
In case you hadn’t realized, it has somehow become uncool to sound like you know what you’re talking about? Or believe strongly in what you’re, like, saying? Invisible question marks and parenthetical “you knows?” and “you know what I’m sayings?” have been attaching themselves to the ends of our sentences? Even when those sentences aren’t, like, questions? Declarative sentences, so called...
In Beds Alone
dearoldlove: I’m in my bed alone. You’re in your bed alone. This should not be how things are. response to earlier post.
Relaxing at home with a few beers and my scruffy...
theneilshow: It was a good day today. Despite an undying independence, I wish I had a warm body to cuddle up to tonight. Sometimes being alone gets lonely. Who’d have thunk it. My life.
Straight bars do not equal talented karaoke singers. Ouch.
We were not strong, only aggressive; we were not free, merely licensed; we were...– The Bluest Eye, Toni Morrison (via smut-to-go)
God I love big ten basketball. This weekend is awesome. Period.
‘This is beyond amazing. Beyond, like I want to make it my profile pic slash get it tattooed on my back.’ - E, in response to this. *backstory: E is in an imaginary band called Lazar Wolf. I have always been jealous, based solely on FOTR. Have decided to even the score by adopting stealing this as my own personal musical moniker. You can bet your sweet ass I’ll be #1 on...
I just farted and it smells like McDonald’s. I think god laughs and rolls...– Text of the day, E.
Ready... Set... Exhale...
Isn’t it phenomenal to finally hitch up your big girl britches and get that load off your chest with your boss? Actually commit to a conversation (out loud! Irl!) that you’ve been rehearsing for weeks in your head? And to feel, afterwards, that you really accomplished a bit of good? That you managed to both keep things upbeat and professional and also keep your directness and...
I WANT TO RIDE MY BICYCLE! I WANT TO RIDE MY BIKE! BIcycle! BIcycle! BIcycle!
Neurotical: Can I bore you for another second or... →
Good. Because you guys? I am so fucking close to being able to go to bed. And I can not even begin to tell you how excited I am about this fact. I am going to sleep so fucking hard — like it’s a sport. And hopefully, all of that works, otherwise I’ll be whining again tomorrow. Also, last night? I…
dailypeptalk: Pep talk: When opportunity comes your way today (or tomorrow… or whenever) you are gonna grab it by the hair and not let it go! You are going to take that opportunity back to your place and make sweet, sweet, consensual love to it. Then you’re gonna raise, like, a million baby opportunities, because from one opportunity will come many. You’re just swimming in awesome chances, my...
because this is what you do
because this is what you do. get up. blame the liquor for the heaviness. call in late to work. go to the couch because the bed is too empty. watch people scream about love on Jerry Springer. count the ways it could be worse. it could be last week when the missing got so big you wrote him a letter and sent it. it could be yesterday, no work to go to, whole day looming. it could be last month or the...
It’s a bit depressing to peruse one’s old - and long left dormant - former blogs (oh blogspot, we had such a nice little run for a few years) and realize… wow, I was such a better writer back then… It pains me to indulge in the ‘art is a muscle, writing is a craft, both need exercise, etc’ cliche… but it’s absofuckinglutely true. Talent/creativity...
Sunshine streaming through my windows and freshly brewed coffee steaming from a teacup are an infinitely preferable duo of waker-uppers than my usual...
Total eclipse of the heart. What, bitches. What. God I needed to get out tonight.
Dance ten, looks three
T-minus one minute until I rock this bitch. Chorus line. Karaoke. Tits and ass, kids. Let’s just say that I’m, ummm… Physically qualified? Amen thank you jesus.
Kiss and Tell: never underestimate the power of... →
this is for the gentlemen out there. saturday night i found myself at the epicenter in south boston for the”minds matter spring gala”. the venue was packed with about 600+ young professionals, cocktail dresses, suits sans ties, suits and ties and even two guys dressed as Lloyd and Harry from Dumb…
All in the Family
Tonight’s entourage: - brother - his lady-friend - her sister - brother’s college roommate #1 - brother’s college roommate #2 - me 4 Purdue grads. 1 IU grad. (what what!) 4 Scotch drinkers 2 People I Have Thrown Up On 4 People Who Grew Up Together (Same Hometown) 6 People Who Have Made ‘POOR DECISION MAKING’ an Art Form I think I’m looking at a great effing...
Crash: I spent a day knitting the ugliest... →
I spent a day knitting the ugliest motherfucking necklace of all time. I thought it was going to be fabulous. It really is hideous. Now I am watching the mens curling final - fuck I am old - I don’t even understand curling. All I know is the third on the Canadians side is fine and the skip on the… dear ferleann, you’re my new favorite. seriously. xxoo allison