February 2010
31 posts
I don't need you, I have a tea machine
racheltm:
I hate coffee dates. I mean, I really, really hate them. With the very rare exception of coffee dates initiated by Abercrombie models, sun-bleached surfers, and European soccer players, then nope, I don’t want to be on one.
Especially not with you, kid from my small-to-the-point-of-intimate English class. You, sir, took advantage of my niceness and the fact that I have to see you...
January 2010
54 posts
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The blur between fingers, Cassandra Warren
poetry365:
He buries his face into my hair and inhales. If I live anywhere in his body, I live in his lungs. There are better organs I’m sure, but it’s warm here too, and most of the sound stays away.
Sometimes in the middle of the night, I wake up to feel my spine against the wall. I don’t mean to make this all about bodies but we are the sort of people whose faith is Tangibility, and there is...
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icanseenewyorkcityfrommyhouse:
The xx...
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Mitchell ftw
Number of marriage proposals received by yours truly this afternoon: 2.
Say what you will about Jets fans, they do know how to flatter a girl.
‘Ohmygawd! You’re not married? Jesus, you Midwestern girls are so fucking cute. Good-looking and so gawddamn NICE. Shit. Marry me?’
Note: both proposals were politely declined.
But thanks, fellas. Enjoy the flight home and watching my team kick ass...
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(on truth and communication)
allison: I can't stand having to explain myself all the time, defend every goddamn thing I say. It's ridiculous.
allison: In my family, we learned to express love and affection through SARCASM. Seriously, it's not complicated: the nastier I am to you, the more I actually LOVE you. What's so difficult to understand?
jake: [laughs] Totally. Everyone knows that about you.
allison: I just want to strangle him and shout, 'I'M NOT A MEAN PERSON, YOU ASSHOLE!'
jake: You just summed up your entire personality in one sentence.
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Trouble comes in threes.
Or, in tonight’s case, trouble brings three ambulances to my parents’ house and one of them takes off with my baby brother, who has been severely convulsing on the kitchen floor.
This shit is not supposed to happen.
Not.
Not.
Not.
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WatchPut This On: Episode 1. Jeans
Because your denim deserves time to chillax in the bathtub just as much as you do. And because - god help us - you are probably wearing the wrong pants. Stop that immediately. Please.
Besides, Adam and Jesse are fantastic.
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“This is for anybody and everybody who got a wedgie in high school.”
– Executive producer RYAN MURPHY, accepting the best comedy or musical Golden Globe award for Glee (via inothernews)
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You can sit around waiting for closure.
jermainia:
Or you can just put on a freakum dress, hit the clurb, and get over it.
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The average amount of time the ball is in play on... →
tumbledore:
People watch three hours of football to witness 11 minutes of actual play. This is why American football is boring and why basketball and soccer are the greatest sports in the world.
11 minutes of actual play
12 minutes of shots of the head coaches and referees
17 minutes of replays
60 minutes of commercials
75 minutes of shots of players huddling, standing at the line of...
Sunday afternoons are such a luxury.
Today’s unasked-for advice: Don’t ever take them for granted.
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Spin Cycle
Music swapping with the brother and this afternoon’s ragingly successful shopping excursion across the street to the local record store (yes, those still exist) have left me in a near-orgasmic ADD sonic frenzy.
Today’s mix: - The Avett Brothers - Serge Gainsbourg - Monsieur Gainsbourg (Serge sung in English, which seems a crazy notion but is, in fact, fantastic) - Supreme Beings of...
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“GAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!”
– Me, reacting to news that drewbird and I are rocking colts tix tomorrow. Look for us on the 50 yd line. I’ll be the blonde in the blue with the beer and the quizzical look on her face begging explanation of game plays.
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Oh the shame.
Tonight at six in the evening I could be found hunched over the great white goddess herself, donating any and all of what remained of last night’s multiple bottles of red wine back to the city from whence it came.
Livin’ like it’s 2K2. Like a boss.
[Note: I am too old for this hangover bullshit. Seriously, Mitchell. Go go gadget dignity.]
this = me + nutshell ... (sigh)
Are you a plane ride away? I seem find that very attractive in a man.
- Apocalypstick
My constant problem is that I always fall for people who live on the opposite side of the country. Or maybe I go out of my way to fall for people who live far away because it’s some sadly unoriginal defense mechanism to keep me from getting too close, either physically or metaphorically or...
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“I’ll raise your OMG to an oy.”
– thelittlemermaid, referring to this dessert. QUOTE OF THE DAY
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Wanna know what's crazy?
CRAZY is sorting laundry and realizing FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER that the little brown sweater I’ve been wearing for three years is
VINTAGE.
LOUIS.
VUITTON.
[updated score: mitchell, +1; recession, (kiss my ass)]
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Heretics.
Chona: i work so much better under pressure
me: i know, me too
me: it's what we do
me: we don't just need someone to light a fire under our asses to get motivated... we need a motherfucking joan of arc bonfire
me: sigh
Chona: hahaha
Chona: yeah, and someone needs to be throwing shit at our faces
me: wearing black inquisition cloaks
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“This could be done right. Let’s give [Sarah Palin] a show where she interviews...”
– Jezebel commenter (via thepoliticalpartygirl) (via brooklynmutt)
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We agreed not to talk for 25 minutes and then...
me: plucked eyebrows, switched laundry loads, took out trash.
me: yes, that's it.
Chona: i cleaned my tube of Chanel lip gloss
Chona: and ate two cookies
me: excellent work.
Chona: Damnit
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Things I Adore: Filmosophy and Meaghan O'Connell... →
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“Kathy Griffin cares nothing for any of this, and is the only person around who...”
– gchat status of my dear and brilliant friend Kevin Waldrop
Patriots lost.
me: belachek (sp?) can lick my balls
Chona: belichek
me: you can quote me on that
me: fine, whatever, man doesn't deserve me to remember shit like vowels
Chona: hahaha
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it is hard out there for a pimp you guys
sparkleneelysparkle:
i know this.
i know this because i just took off my jeans, fished a pair of shorts out of my overnight bag thats been sitting in my living room for 2 weeks, put em on, dropped the jeans in the middle of my living room floor, unhooked my bra and cracked open a can of beer. didnt even take the bra off. just unhooked it. maximum comfort levels.
its about to get massively real...
“I’m going to go ahead and assume that people buy awesome sweatpants every day...”
– Brian Williams, on why he doesn’t use Twitter
This is an example of why he’d be perfect for Twitter.
(via pterodactyls)(via asprettyasasong)(via evangotlib)
(via apsies)
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it's basketball season...
kissandtell:
hi. i’m the girl across the bar you haven’t gotten a chance to know… i’m the one who has on ‘fuck me’ high heels, who can accessorize better than a Vogue fashion editor, who can talk to you about Renaissance art, who can blow you better than you could blow yourself, who can tell you the UL basketball starting line up from ‘95 and every play from the ‘02 IU win over Duke all while...
