January 2010
54 posts
Lessons Learned in 2009, Goals for 2010
mooshoo:
As I prepare to bring in 2010 as wasted as I possibly can, I took a minute to reflect back on 2009.
2009 pretty much sucked. It was a year full of tragedy, bad luck, and dump trucks. However, now that I look back on all of it, it was a year full of learning lessons; lessons that could have only been learned the hard way. Despite the fact that I post Pedobear memes and pictures of whale...
December 2009
87 posts
i need to start
scottfriday:
a separate tumblr account for my drunken ramblings. then people would know.
“nah, don’t follow this one. follow drunkenscottfriday.tumblr.com, brah. that shit’s fetch.”
Gretchen, stop trying to make ‘fetch’ happen. IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.
Whywe'resingle.com : texts from last night edition
Witness the horror of us attempting to score a date, aka drunk Eric’s 4am ice-breaker messaging. I should note, he has yet to receive a response.
‘This is Eric, slash Allison who gave you her number … I’m sure you get asked for your number often, but I would enjoy buying your dinner sometime soon, Ruth’s Chris perhaps, not to be pretentious but my family has clout there.?. I’m ok w Cracker Barrel...
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tlbb: All By Myself - Celine Dion
[and this is...
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Coming soon: Reasons Why I Support My Best...
…and by ‘reasons’ I clearly mean ‘mortifying examples from my daily life that make me wish the iphone had never been invented.’
Oh, iphone… It’s like Frodo’s ring, far too powerful a weapon for the hands of people like me. It is single handedly (HA!) allowing me to self-destruct.
In other words…
I’m essentially the modern social...
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Disgrace, party of two.
M: For god’s sake, b, I slept with a hippy this month. I don’t want to fucking talk about it. B: Ok… but… ummm… B: Define ‘hippy’. M: Well, hmmm… yeah. He had a backpack. In a bar. B: Oh. B: So you’re telling me you woke up… and there was a backpack in your room. M: Yep. B: Yeah… that happened to me recently… except it was a pair of cowboy boots. M: [nods sympathetically]
“Two most embarrassing losses in the history of the Colts franchise: 1969 vs. NY...”
– thebstiles BobGlauber (via brooklynmutt)
“Finally, exhausted and happy from the rumpus, they all fell asleep in one big...”
– not a bad xmas. (via lauramenorah)
Happy Holidays!
jakeandamir:
Tumblr users: Reblog this post by Dec. 26th and we will follow your blog by Jan. 1st!
for chona. in honor of the great timesq photoshoot(s) of 2K9. xxoo
“It’s Christmas, for goodness sake. Think about the baby Jesus: up in that tower,...”
– Karen Walker (via lilsituation) (via tlbb)
You really don't have to smile if you don't want...
playnice:
This Pep Talk goes out to all my customer service workers: Attitude… what attitude? You don’t have an attitude; you have a personality. It is not your job to endure belittling comments or honor out of line demands. If it’s your job to give your ”guests” a positive experience, then it’s their job to behave as guests and not be jerks. It’s not your fault people don’t know how to behave...
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brooklynmutt: “tom’s diner”, suzanne vega
The Word of the Day is 'BITCHES'.
… As in ‘I’m requesting January 25th off because it’s important to me, BITCHES.’
(and I’m feelin’ good…)
Attn motherfuckers: GO AWAY
Specifically, the motherfuckers on the street just outside/below my window who appear to be performing some sort of full-volume ironic hipster spoof on lady gaga’s ‘bad romance’ or are perhaps conducting a ritual sacrifice of some poor farm animal.
Either way. Fools better watch it. And RESPECT a bitch.
Because for the first time in my life I can describe myself as being...
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Get paid,
youcankeepthechange:
get new sunglasses, look dope in them, get tacos, go see some comedy, constantly make a fool of myself while talking to guys, go home alone, find solace in my leftover tacos, and fall asleep watching Aqua Teen re-runs on my laptop.
What is, “How I will spend my Friday?” Mr. Trebek?
I just ate m&m's and animal crackers for lunch.
Because that’s the adult way to handle stress.
Now accepting applications for friends who are not...
awkwardlyawesome:
For realz.
ohhhhh… my pet. virtual hugs. xxoo
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Readers by Author. →
“Acceptance, forgiveness, tolerance, and bullshit.”
– ‘How the hell have we managed to stay friends for so long?’ mystery finally solved
“Ohmygod, it’s steak n shake… It’s like dog years… So, really… That’s basically…...”
– qtis
I tried to use "The Secret" today to make a lot of...
kissandtell:
abfabsolutely:
jermainia:
But I don’t even know what The Secret is all about. So I repeated “walk, walk, fashion baby” over and over in my head instead. It didn’t work. But I felt fierce.
My Life, Today’s Edition. love love love.
i’m channeling feeling fierce and future contact. move aside fuckers. i’m taking the reins.
- mc
“Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with...”
– Lemony Snicket (via kari-shma) (via quote-book)
[Read: Reason to Love Your Friends on the West Coast. 3 hour time delay? Yes, please, love, thanks. ‘YOU AWAKE?’ = 3 am CST text of champions.]
Tonight's experimental cocktail:
4 parts Hennessey + 1 part creme de menthe.
[much needed, and truly a pleasantly holiday-esque little accompaniment to the world’s most bizarre (slash cringe-inducing) bar conversation. To borrow David’s phrase, ‘Well… I was planning on volunteering on Christmas day at the veterans’ hospital… but I guess we took care of that score tonight, huh?’
An,...
lickystickypickyme: Dolly Parton - 9 to 5
tlbb: folkinz: cat power: crazy (gnarls barkley...
I tried to use "The Secret" today to make a lot of...
jermainia:
But I don’t even know what The Secret is all about. So I repeated “walk, walk, fashion baby” over and over in my head instead. It didn’t work. But I felt fierce.
My Life, Today’s Edition. love love love.
kari-shma: Nina Simone | Feeling good
please lord...
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Email of the day: Vacation Update, Cancun
‘Just before we departed from Louisville, we discovered that MP’s Dad had caught the flu — and unfortunately, we got it too, and got it bad. So, from Wed afternoon until this morning, we enjoyed our room, with emphasis on the bathroom and Mexican television. The room and the bathroom were the better of the three. So, since Jim does not drink — and we have endured nearly...
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sacrecoeur: pit-a-patwenttheheartofmissmouse:
I...